I don’t have a clue how to write this next blog. We have been on such an emotional rollercoaster the last two days and I’m hoping that recalling those events will not lead me to another puddle of uncontrollable tears.
Let me first inform you that it has been such an incredible experience this far, but it’s nothing like I expected. Some of you may believe we have come down to a country where there are elephants and zebra roaming wild grasses and we’re walking around hot and dusty villages singing to a people who have no clue as to what we’re saying. Now, some of us thought those exact things when we first signed up for this trip. In fact, I myself was a little disappointed when I found out that South Africa is much different than the Africa that comes to mind when we speak of it. The cities we have represented in the earlier pictures have almost all of the luxuries that we have in America. This was disappointing to me for the sheer fact that I believed it would be so much more meaningful and life changing if I encountered desolation for my entire 11 days here. “Oh, ye of little faith”…how much I have to learn.
Although there are many similar luxuries in the cities here, the population of people who have no running water, no proper home, and no job is a lot higher. In the particular region we were in today, Zulu Kingdom, one in three people have the HIV virus. Today and yesterday we visited two different orphanages that play host to a variety of children who have parents that have died from AIDS and who many of them have HIV themselves. The particular orphan villages that we visited also had AIDS hospices and schools on the premises. In fact, they teach the adult women and men in their respective areas many different skills to help them get jobs and earn a living.
I’m ashamed to say that I was somewhat excited to go to these places because of what I thought I would be able to take away from it. It’s not a bad thing that I wanted these experiences to change me, but I really had no idea how that would be accomplished. Along with a tug at my heart strings, I wanted to make sure I got that “perfect” picture of me with a child suffering from this horrible disease to change to black and white and hang on my wall. I wanted to go in and touch and hug these people who would be changed by those simple acts and feel good about myself. I mentioned earlier that this is how I hoped the entire trip would be. That first afternoon I learned quickly that I would not have been able to deal with several days of what I saw in that first hour. In fact, I believe those moments – however brief – will stay with all of us for the rest of our lives.
I don’t feel I need to elaborate on everything because I’m not sure the picture would be accurate if I tried to paint it for you. Just know that whenever you are able to experience something like this for yourselves, be prepared for a variety of feelings you would have never expected to feel. Of course there will be gratitude to God when you recognize how amazing your life is… sadness when you see the ways these people are living… struggling when you are trying to balance your feelings of “trying to let go of the overwhelming sadness and pity” and “trying to hold on to the experience so that you will never forget to go away changed”. But then there are feelings you will not expect… those glimpses of joy and love and happiness when you realize these people, these children know nothing different. They are living the life they know and they a grateful for it. You see the children laughing and singing, people dying of AIDS raising their hands and clapping along when you come in and sing or them. You feel an overwhelming love for people, real human beings, not just statistics or numbers or documentaries or donations.
I can’t go on much more without these thoughts taking over this entire blog. We want you to know about other amazing things that have been happening in the last two days. The last two evenings have been absolutely incredible at the two public concerts that we have held. Both concerts, one in Durban for 1000– one in Empangani for 1500, have packed the house…we even added extra chairs at one. We sang our hearts out and so did the people we were singing for. All of us lifting those praises to the God who brought us together. We are so excited to find out what good has come out from these concerts. We know that lives were touched and seeds were planted, the rest will be taken care of by God and we can’t wait to see what He does!!!
Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. We can’t wait to tell you more! Please watch for upcoming videos when we have more time online…
-Vicki Lindsey